Aftermath
by 68guns
Summary: How does Gary deal with the aftermath of Anna's death?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: My first Alphas fanfic! I was just so haunted by poor Gary's experience in the Season 1 finale that I couldn't get it out of my mind. Hope you enjoy!**

**Don't own 'em, wish I did (especially Gary), etc., etc.**

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><p><strong>Aftermath<strong>

**Chapter 1**

_Gary found himself in a wide-open, empty space. Mist swirled around him. He stepped forward hesitantly, unsure of where he was._

"_Ga-ry."_

_The mechanized voice came from in front of him, a voice that he knew._

"_Anna?" he said, walking forward._

_Then he saw her, standing before him. Her head was slightly bowed and her hair fell forward over the left side of her face. Her unfocused gaze was pointed at a spot to the left of him._

"_Anna? Where are we?" Gary asked, moving toward her._

_She lifted her head and spoke to him as he'd never heard her speak before, her voice emanating from her own mouth, in a voice like the voice other girls had. "Gary, why didn't you save me? Why did you let them hurt me?"_

_She pushed her hair back from her face, and Gary saw the hole in the left side of her forehead. _

_Her eyes focused directly on his, she repeated, "Why, Gary? Why?"_

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><p>Sandra Bell's eyes flew open from a sound sleep. What had awakened her? Then she heard it, a terrified voice from Gary's room. "Anna! Anna!" And she knew that was the sound that had disturbed her sleep.<p>

Rushing from her room, she entered Gary's room and saw him sitting upright in his bed, his eyes closed tightly, his hands clenched against his chest. Tears were streaming down his face. "Anna! Anna! Anna!" he was repeating, over and over again.

Crossing to his bed, Sandra sank down onto the mattress and tried to take Gary's hands. "Gary, wake up!" she said. "Gary, it's okay!"

But Gary flinched away from her, a motion that never failed to break her heart, even after all these years. Then his eyes fluttered open and met hers, his gaze immediately sliding to the side. "Mom?" he whispered.

Sandra carefully took one of Gary's hands in her own, pulling him toward her so she could give him a slight hug. Gary stiffened, but allowed the touch. She could feel him trembling.

"It was just a dream, sweetie. Everything's okay," she murmured.

"No, it's not," Gary said, pulling away from her. "Anna's dead. There was a hole in her head. I saw it."

Sandra felt a rush of pity for her child. "I know, sweetie," she said. "Lee told me what happened, remember?" She was still angry, although Lee had tried to explain that what had happened was all a terrible mistake, and that Gary wasn't meant to be there in any event. But Sandra, like any mother, especially the mother of a special needs child, wasn't very forgiving of anything that hurt her child.

Gary's trembling was subsiding and his breathing was evening out. "Do you think you can go back to sleep now?" Sandra asked, taking another chance with touching him and reaching out to stroke his hair.

"No," Gary whispered. "I don't want to go to sleep." His hands came up and he began flipping through the signals that only he could see. "I don't want to see her again."

"Okay, Gary," Sandra murmured. "But just stay in bed, okay?" She hoped that he would drift back to sleep again. This was the third night since the terrible events in the old mill, and Gary had been disturbed by nightmares each one of those nights.

"I'll stay in bed. And you'll sit in my chair, right?" he asked, flicking a look at her.

Stifling a yawn, Sandra said, "Yes, sweetie. I'll be right here, okay?" She moved to the chair near his bed and sat down.

"I like it when you're close," he murmured, his hands still moving and his attention focused on his signals.

Sandra resigned herself to another sleepless night, and resolved to call Lee in the morning. This couldn't go on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Not even one review? Sadness! But I'll hope someone is out there reading and is interested in the continuation.**

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><p>"Thanks for coming over, Lee," Sandra said, stifling a yawn as she poured them both a cup of coffee.<p>

"You know I'm as worried about Gary as you are, Sandra," Lee Rosen said, adding a spoonful of sugar to his cup and stirring it.

"I wish you'd been as worried before you let this happen!" Sandra snapped. Seeing the true regret on Lee's face, she added, "I'm sorry. I know you would never want to hurt Gary." It was true, anyone who knew Lee Rosen could see that he cared deeply for all the Alphas, as he called them, that he worked with and tried to help. She was sure that however this had happened, Lee would have tried to protect his charges.

"No, you are absolutely right, Sandra," Lee said resignedly, his remorse showing on his face. "I should have protected Gary. It should never have happened."

Sandra sighed. "Well, we can't change what is, but Gary is suffering, Lee. I don't know how to help him. "

"I think you should let me take him back to the office, Sandra. I know you're upset about what happened, but I think it would help Gary to be around his friends, who were there, too, and who understand what he's going through."

Sandra's first instinct, and one she was still fighting, was to keep Gary far away from Lee Rosen and everyone involved in his Alphas project. Gary had been placed in danger and had been hurt since Lee had started working with him. But she also couldn't deny that Gary had made great strides toward independence at the same time, and that he had developed a sense of friendship with these people that he had never had with anyone else. He had seemed happier than she had ever seen him, until the events leading to Anna's death.

"I don't know, Lee," she said, fidgeting with her coffee cup. "I just don't know what's best for him anymore."

"I understand," Lee said gently, reaching out to lay his hand over hers. "Why don't we talk to Gary and see how he feels about it?"

"All right," Sandra said. "But I don't guarantee I'm letting him go back, no matter what he says. I have to keep him safe, Lee, and I'll do whatever that takes." She stood up from the table. "He's in his room. I'll go get him."

"Hello, Dr. Rosen," Gary said, entering the kitchen, his eyes momentarily meeting Lee's before sliding to the right. His hands were moving, as usual, as he sat down across the table from Lee.

"Hello, Gary," Lee said softly. His eyes took in the young man's haggard appearance. Sandra had told him about Gary's nightmares. Gary hadn't told her exactly what happened in his dreams, but it was evident from the aftermath that they all dealt with Anna's death. Gary had dark circles under his eyes. Even his usual crisp, quick hand motions were slowed.

"Gary," Lee said, " would you like to come back to the office with me? Nina, Rachel, Bill and Cameron have all been asking about you and would like to see you."

Gary's hands stilled and he stared at the table in front of him. "Go back to the office," he repeated. "See Nina and Rachel and Bill and Cameron." He flicked a glance at Lee. "Just to the office. Not anywhere else, right?"

"That's right, Gary," Lee encouraged him. "Just to the office to see your friends. And maybe you and I can have a session and talk while we're there. Would you like that?"

"I want to see my friends," Gary said, his hands once again starting their movements to the dance of the signals. "I want to see Nina and Rachel and Bill and Cameron. But I don't want to go anywhere else. I don't want to go on a mission."

Lee glanced at Sandra. He could see the hesitation in her eyes, but she finally nodded.

"All right, Gary," Lee said. "Why don't you come with me now and we'll go see everyone."

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><p>Bill was in the breakroom getting a snack when he heard the door to the office suite open. Sticking his head out into the hallway, he saw Dr. Rosen enter, with Gary behind him.<p>

"Hey, Gary!" he said, coming out into the hallway. He looked Gary over carefully, not liking what he saw. They had all been worried about Gary and it had been killing them that his mother wouldn't let him come back and wouldn't let them see him. No one knew exactly how Anna's death would affect him.

"Bill," Gary said, giving him a brief glance. "I brought my lunch. My mom made it. I'm going to put in the refrigerator, and you can't eat it, okay?"

Bill laughed, glad to hear some familiar Gary talk come out of the boy. "Okay, Gary," he said. "I promise, okay? No eating your lunch."

Gary walked by him heading toward the breakroom. As he came even with Bill, he stopped and made eye contact briefly. "Bill," he said. "I don't want to be Agent Bell anymore. I don't want to be a special agent. People get hurt when you're a special agent. Sometimes people even get dead. Anna got dead. I don't want to see anyone else get dead."

Bill closed his eyes, feeling a strong rush of sympathy toward the fragile young man. He'd had his issues with Gary, but he had to admit, Gary had gotten under his skin. "Okay, buddy," he said gently. "You don't have to be Agent Bell anymore if you don't want to. You can just be Gary again, okay?"

There was a sudden flurry as the other members of the team rushed into the breakroom, having heard Gary's voice. Nina, Rachel, and Cameron all gathered around Gary, being careful not to crowd him.

"We've missed you, Gary!" Rachel said. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"Yeah, Gare," Nina said, reaching out to carefully pat his arm. "We're glad you're back."

"Hey, kid," Cameron said. "Missed you, buddy!"

Gary looked slightly overwhelmed, but a hesitant smile appeared on his face. "My mom wanted me to stay home," he said. The smile vanished as he added, "I wanted to stay home, too." He looked around at everyone, then glanced away. "But I wanted to see my friends. And we're all friends, right?"

Bill smiled as the team fell over themselves to assure Gary that they were, indeed, his friends. And Bill knew it was true.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thank you, Ama Sohma-Bell and OneDayTheRobotsWillCry! Here's Chapter 3, just for you.**

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><p>Rachel, of course, heard it first. It was a very soft sound, almost a whimper, and it was coming from Gary's office.<p>

She left her office and headed down the hall toward Gary's door. Gary had had a session with Dr. Rosen and then had gone into his office. She had kept finding reasons to walk down the hall past his door just to take a look inside and make sure he was okay, and she noticed everyone else doing the same thing.

As she stopped in Gary's doorway, she saw that he had fallen asleep at his desk. His head was down on his arms, turned to the right so that she could see his face. She hated seeing the dark circles under his eyes. Dr. Rosen said he hadn't been sleeping. And she felt responsible. She should have stopped him from running down into the mill. She should have stopped him from seeing what he had seen.

As she watched Gary sleeping, she saw that his eyes were moving under his eyelids and she knew that he was dreaming. Then she heard the sound again that had drawn her from her office, and it was coming from Gary. It was a sound of distress.

Before she could move from the door, Gary gasped and jerked upright, yelling, "Anna! Anna! Anna!" She ran into the room, hearing the sounds of the rest of the team running toward Gary's office behind her.

"Gary! Gary!" she said, reaching out and grasping his arms below his shoulders. He jerked away, and she let her hands fall to her side, although everything she had inside her was calling to her to reach out and hold him. But being friends with Gary meant respecting his special needs and she knew that he was sensitive to touch and avoided it.

Gary's eyes opened and he saw Rachel in front of him. For once his eyes didn't slide away from hers and she was heartbroken at the devastated look she saw there. "Rachel," he said, still gasping. "Anna's dead. I saw her."

Rachel felt the guilt well up inside her again. "I know, Gary," she said, reaching out and gently patting his arm. "I know, and I'm sorry."

Gary slumped down in his chair, his breathing starting to even out. Rachel became aware of the rest of the team standing behind her. She glanced around and saw Nina with tears in her eyes, Dr. Rosen with a worried look on his face, Bill looking like he wanted to kill someone, and Cameron with a sympathetic expression.

"Come on, Gary, let's go get some water," she suggested gently.

Gary's eyes slid away from hers and he muttered, "Get some water. Yeah. Get some water." He stood up and became aware of everyone in his office. "No one knocked on my door. You have to knock on my door and you have to wait for me to say 'Come in' before you come into my office."

Everyone grinned, glad to see a glimpse of the Gary before the incident again.

"Yeah, yeah, Gary, sorry about that," Bill said, moving back into the hallway, as the others did the same, calling, "Sorry, Gare!"

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><p>The next day, Cameron stuck his head inside Gary's office. "Hey, kid," he said, "want to take a walk?"<p>

Gary looked up from the computer screen he was studying. "Go for a walk?" he echoed. "Walk where?"

"Just a walk, get a little fresh air. Maybe stop and get some french fries?"

"My mom doesn't like me to eat fast food," Gary said. "That's why she packs my lunch every day." He glanced at Cameron. "But I like fast food."

Cameron laughed. "Okay, then," he said. "A little fast food won't hurt you, and we don't have to tell your mom."

"I don't want to lie to my mom," Gary said. "Lying is a social skill, and I've been practicing, but I don't practice on my mom 'cause that's not nice. But just not telling someone isn't the same thing as lying, right?"

Cameron laughed again. "Yeah, that's right. Not the same thing at all," he assured Gary.

The two men left the office, after Cameron stuck his head in Dr. Rosen's office and told him he was taking Gary for a walk. They headed down the street toward the McDonald's a couple of blocks over.

"So how are you doing, Gary?" Cameron asked.

Gary's hands began to fidget. "I'm okay," Gary said. "But Anna's dead."

Cameron felt a twinge of guilt. He had told Gary that he would try to protect Anna. But that hyperkinetic had really done a number on him, leaving him unconscious and bleeding on the floor.

"Yeah, I know," Cameron said gently. "And I'm really sorry, Gary. I'm sorry I couldn't protect her, like I said I would."

Gary stopped walking and turned toward Cameron. "But you couldn't. I know that. You got hurt." His gaze turned toward the bruises that still adorned Cameron's cheek and jaw. "You could have gotten killed like Anna. I'm glad that didn't happen."

Cameron felt at a loss. What should he do? Was it good for Gary to talk about this? Or should he change the subject? He wished he had asked Dr. Rosen before he impulsively decided to take Gary out. But he had just felt the need to assure himself that Gary was okay and still the peculiar, quirky kid that had so easily inched his way into Cameron's heart.

"I have bad dreams. I keep dreaming about Anna," Gary said, as he began to walk again. "She had a hole in her head."

"Yeah, buddy, I know," Cameron said softly. "I'm really sorry that happened to her. And I'm really sorry you saw it."

They walked on in silence for a few minutes.

"Look, there's McDonald's!" Cameron said cheerfully, seeing the golden arches sign ahead. He had never been so glad to see a McDonald's in his life. He was desperately afraid of adding to Gary's pain by saying the wrong thing. "French fries, right?"

He saw a quick grin grace Gary's face. "French fries," he agreed. "And a milkshake?" His gaze slid to Cameron's.

"And a milkshake, buddy," Cameron agreed. "Whatever you want!"

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><p>That afternoon, Nina walked by Gary's office for the fourth time. She just couldn't seem to stay away. She couldn't forget the terror of seeing that huge Red Flag agent with his hand around Gary's throat, holding him up against the wall, of seeing Gary choking and ineffectually trying to loosen the man's grip. Then, after using her ability to send the man into sleep, losing Gary in the smoke and confusion and not knowing if he was alive or dead. It had been the worst moment in her life.<p>

Gary was sitting at his desk, but he was uncharacteristically still. Even his hands were lying motionless in his lap as he stared out the window.

Nina stopped in his doorway. "Hey, Gare, what's up?" she asked.

Gary looked up and made eye contact briefly. "Hey, Nina. You want to come in my office? You didn't knock, but it's okay, you can come in."

Nina smiled and entered the room, sitting down in the chair on the other side of his desk. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I was thinking," Gary said. "Remembering," he added softly. His gaze slid back to the windows, and he began to twist the wristband on his left arm.

Nina watched in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Is everything okay, Gare?" she asked gently.

"Everything is fine," Gary said automatically. Then he said, "That's a lie. Everything is not fine. Anna is dead."

Nina winced. "I know, Gare. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't with you when you found her. I lost you after that big guy dropped you. I couldn't find you. I'm sorry."

Gary looked up at her, briefly making eye contact as his eyes widened in surprise. "I'm not mad at you, Nina. Did you think I was mad at you? 'Cause I'm not." His eyes slid away from hers. "You saved my life, Nina. I thought that Red Flag man was going to kill me. I couldn't breathe. But you saved me." He looked at her again. "Thank you," he said politely, in the tone he used when he remembered some social nicety he was supposed to observe. "Thank you for saving me."

Nina laughed. "No problem, Gare," she said. "That's what friends are for, right?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: OK, here's the wrap up - hope it's satisfying for you! And here is an extra treat for all you Gary fans - if you've never seen Ryan Cartwright's 5-year-old comedy video on youtube called "Oh, to be...(Darth Vader)," go look at it right now! It is so funny, and you can marvel like me at how this guy hasn't aged a day in the last five years! Thanks for reading.**

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><p>Lee Rosen looked at the boy sitting on his sofa. No, he guessed he wasn't a boy any more. He had seen more than he should have ever had to see, and he had lost some of his innocence in that mill.<p>

"How did you sleep last night, Gary?" he asked gently.

"I had a bad dream last night," Gary said, fidgeting. "I have a bad dream every night."

"Can you tell me about your dreams, Gary?" Lee asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Gary said. "It makes me sad." He looked up at Lee. "You know what it's about. You were there. You saw her, too. She had a hole in her head."

Lee winced. He remembered his frantic race through the mill, calling Gary's name, then seeing a sight he would never have believed - Gary in a rage, attacking one of the government agents. He remembered the terror of seeing a gun aimed at Gary and the feel of the adrenaline rush he had experienced as he had flown toward the man, knocking the gun to the side as it fired, shouting, "He's one of us! He's one of us!"

He remembered the heartbreaking sight of Gary crawling toward Anna and holding her hand, as he tried to hold him back to protect him. But it was too late to save him from what he had seen and experienced.

"A terrible thing happened in that mill, Gary," he said. "But it wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done."

Gary looked up and made direct eye contact with Lee. "Yes, it was my fault. I should have saved her. That's what Anna says in my dreams. She wants to know why I didn't save her."

"Oh, Gary," Lee murmured. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have saved her. It was my fault. It's all my fault. But I'm going to change things."

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><p><em>Gary found himself in the swirling mist again. He heard the voice calling him. "Ga-ry."<em>

_He walked forward and found Anna, as he found her every time he slept. This time, before she said anything, Gary said, "Anna, I'm sorry you're dead. But it wasn't my fault. Dr. Rosen explained it to me. He said there wasn't anything I could have done to stop what happened, and that I was brave to go into the mill to try to save you. Except he says I should never do anything like that again."_

_Anna looked up and smiled at him. He still thought she was pretty, even though she had a hole in her head. _

_Gary rushed on. "And maybe I couldn't save you, but Dr. Rosen said we could do something now. And we did. We told the whole world about Alphas. So they're not a secret anymore. That's what you wanted, right? So we did it. And I helped Dr. Rosen. I modified the equipment and I transmitted the signal."_

_Anna was still smiling. "That's good, Gary. Yes, that's what we wanted. I'm glad you did that for me, since I couldn't do it myself."_

_Gary looked at the girl standing before him. He felt a great sense of sadness, a sense of something that he couldn't even identify that had been taken away from him. _

_Anna walked toward him and reached out and took his hand. "Goodbye, Gary," she said. "Thank you for being my friend. I still think the things you can do are amazing. One day you'll discover how you can use your abilities to change the world." _

_She reached up and touched his face, then she turned and started to walk away. Gary watched until she was swallowed by the mist. "Goodbye, Anna," he murmured._

Gary opened his eyes. He felt a sense of peace. Anna was gone, and now he could accept it.

He turned over and went back to sleep.


End file.
